repentance retreat

I thought a lot about the plan of salvation this week. My comp had a really really hard loss in her family. And it just broke my heart. Watching someone I love so much just shatter and I wanted to pick up the pieces so bad but I couldn't. So I just cried with her. And braided her hair. And hugged her until she fell asleep. 

And as we were sitting on the 7 hour bus ride to arequipa so she could fly home to colombia for a few days, I just felt really really small. 

Like we're just 2 little girls. In this big bus in the middle of the desert of peru. 

And I just felt so found. Like God knew exactly where we were and that we needed each other. 

So that was an "I swear we were infinite" moment. (<<I act like I'm so cool and indy like I'm a big fan of "the Perks of being a wallflower" when literally I just watched it on my school Chromebook during a choir concert because it was free on YouTube how cringe. 

Anyways. Look how cute my comp is. I love her. Like so so much. I felt like I was missing an arm without her. We're so much funnier juntas. 

So ya. Spent the week in my old area and even though it's only been like 6 weeks since I've been there it felt like a time warp.

Twas comparing hard core my old self to my 6 weeks later self and then I repented and eas like ITS OK. change is good. 

and also like what the heck the elders are in my area now like idk BUT THE SO SO heart happy thing is they're teaching one of the families I adore that I really wish I couldve gotten to know more but they think I'm hilarious so that's a plus. ANYWYAS they're all getting baptized. 

And at first when I found out I was like..gosh dang it hna barker why couldn't you help them when you were there like you weren't good enough to help them. 

But then I repented. 

And I realized are you KIDDING this isn't about you! This is about God and his promises with his kids and how lucky are you emma to have been a part of it. 

And God painted this really pretty sunset on the drive home. And I was like tacna is so hard I just want to stay in Mirador and then I repented. And remembered how much I love the people wherever they are. 

And I got to see my favorite person ever @kaydenbird did you find us a house yet? And I was like ugh why can't we be comps and then I repented and remembered every single person is so important to this growth I'm becoming on this mission.

So. This week was a repentance retreat for me. A chance to think about how to change and how to become. And how my life is not the same in any way as what it was a year ago or even an hour ago. The atonement isn't just a one time use thing. It's got an unlimited warranty. The lord gives us the chance to Repent and change over and over and over and over again. 

Also the bottom of my shoes are cracked in half but I love them and it poured rain in arq and so they filled with water and turned my socks brown. Que vergüenza. But the rain also turned them back to their original color ! Not sure if the rain cleaned them o just dirt dyed them or something. 

Have a good week. Eat some lettuce for me. And give your neighbor a high-five 

XOXO hermana spidergirl (thx for the nickname mauricio...fun fact did you know me and Jesus have the same zodiac sign?)