2.2 we keep fruit snacks in our car but instead of sharing them with homeless people I eat them

PSA to everyone who now thinks I am a dumb blonde and don't know what a touchdown is: I know in the picture of Jesus from last week his arms were not signaling for a touchdown. It is merely called touchdown Jesus because his arms USED to be raised in touchdown form. Thank you. 

I got a call this week that apparently Ohio doesn't want me anymore but Peru finally does >:) I got my visa!!!!!!!!(!!!!!!!) So the end of this transfer (6 week period) I will booking it to Llamaland. Woot woot! I still got time to do great things so I'm going to work super hard while I'm here! (IN fact I'm even starting to like ohio a little but don't tell anyone that would be embarrassing)

I have a million things to say this week and I know it's a novel so I'm sorry! But it was a funny week and I have a feeling in Peru I'm gonna start getting lazy with emails lol. Pick a number any number in this list it's sure to delight.  

1. I believe all the mission doctors are all the same clone as Dr. Brown from the MTC. (Backstory...he basically was the worst and told everyone they just had viruses regardless of their illness). I called our mission doc and told him I have been ill for many weeks and he goes. No joke. "I think you have a virus". I was like uh NO DR BROWN ENERGY PLEASE. needless to say I got prescribed antibiotics and I can finally stop sounding like a fog horn. The best part of the medication is the pharmacy girl was like "just so you know there ARE some side effexts...so call your doctor if any eXtREmE diarrhea occurs". 

2. STEVEN. I think he is a scripted character because in no way is this man real life. He is our friend from China. And apparently the government is watching his family. Because he joined an anticommunist speech here. I don't know. His dad was in the hospital (he showed us his records) and he has a ex roommate from Nigeria who he got into a tousle with and now believes is stalking him. Why are we teaching him you might ask? Cuz he walks 40 mins to church from his college dorm every Sunday because he wants to learn Spanish. He shows up in his orange lensed prescription glasses and full length coat and just says gracias and leaves. I DONT KNOW. We had a cool lesson with him about God and finding peace through prayer and it was like yes we are getting somewhere! And then right after closing prayer he goes "I'm really worried about the side effects of the medication for depression. But I believe we come from nature, and the best medicine is nature and YOU KNOW I've heard about these things called magic mushrooms..." *insert palm slapping forehead here* oh steven.

3. I'm gonna be so for real last week was rough. I didn't cry (truth) or anything cuz I'm manly and tough (lie) but it was just different than I expected to feel my first bit in the mission. So if my email last pday sounded joyous and chipper, then I lied good. ha. My comp the first few days was a total robot. She's very much a processer, like she likes facts and rules and schedules. And I really like people and teaching by feels and also she hates cheese. And she doesn't want to get married, and children anoy her. SO we are sligtly not mismo. But. We had a bonding moment twice this week, the first time was when we were in urgent care to get my medicine and get an earplug pulled out of her ear cana. Like those little orange playdoh ones. And then again when my visa came, because she's been waiting for her visa for a loooong time and hers still won't come. So she broke down and IWASSOGLAD because she finally was just being for reals. So that was very exciting. It's not perfect but we've started to grow closer and laugh for realsies sometimes. 

4. We had four friends at church this week. FOUR. They just kept sneaking in during the whole sacrament meeting it was wild. Oler and I had to divvy them up afterwards o talk to them and figure out when they want a return appointment...it was crazy. One of the people who came we had no idea who he was. The whole time during sacrament it was like...whom this? Turns out it was a guy whose number I got in the parking lot of the guadalupana (a mexican store)But i had no idea what his name was cuz he mumbled it. But he came to church!! No warning in advance it was wild. And he's Dario and from Guatemala and goes "I've never been baptized, but someday!" I was like in my brain UM YES PLEASE HOW ABOUT LIKE TOMORROW lol. Pray for him and paul and jaime our friends we are teaching!

5. It's been so nice and sunny. Still super cold but the sun is alive and well. We found some puppies outside. Well they belonged to someone but still. It was awesome. 

6. THIS IS A GOOD STORY. Okay we were knocking some apartments and we walked down a flight of stairs after the top floor no one had answered. Suddenly the door swings open and this dope black guy pokes his head out and I go "Hi! You don't by chance speak spanish?" and he goes "Yo un poquito" and I go "Oh we're spanish missionaries in the area, nuestra iglesia is la iglesia de JesuCristo de los Santos...yaddayadda" and he's all "Ohhh I speak POQUITO poquito, like I only know bad words in Spanish." He pauses for a minue. "Y'all know Spanish?" We nod. "But...you're hedoublehockeystickuh white" I was like "Yes this is true." And then he does a double ake "Snapples youre mormon sorry for my language. I'm Christian. Like my name. I'd come shake your hand but I don't have a shirt on." I laughed and did the rock on symbol I do, but he def thought I was doing like the devil salute or something because he goes "OH!" and does it back and then goes, "Wait don't do that. But I can do it cuz I'm a Taurus" and stuck his rock on symbol on his forehead. So yeah Christian was a homie. Too bad he doesn't speak spanish.

7. There are some weird things about Ohio. 

-drive through gas stations. Its like a big garage you drive through and buy road trip snacks at and you don't have to get out of your car. Like a car wash, nut instead of a carwsh you buy beer and food. We were in McDonald's last night and this random dude was sucking the cheese off his doritos and then made a nice little pile of used Doritos on a napkin and went to catch the bus. He ended up missing it and came back to suck on more Doritos and that's when I realized he had no teeth. We had a nice chat about hos he lived in Vegas for a while but the pace of living is too fast, especially for his bad hips he's had for about 2 months. I should've recommended Cheese Whiz to him, he could've had the delight of doritos cheese without wasting the actual, ya know, Dorito. Final Ohio thing is this place called Bargain Bins. It's this weird warehouse that Latinos sometimes go to and theres a bunch of these sandbox lookin troughs with all these returned things from Amazon and stuff. Garage sale on steroids. I found a waffle maker there and it made HEART SHAPED WAFFLES but i figured since my suitcases already were overweight on my flight here it probably wouldn't make it down to Peru. Does a waffle maker qualify as a personal item?

8. Went to waffle house. Apparently it's iconic here but I really only wanted to go cuz it was in that Jonas Brothers song. 

I love the Lord you guys. It's kinda super aweome to walk around all day and only be focused on JesuCristo. It's hard for sure. Especially since half the battle is finding people who actually speak Spanish here. But all the Latino hombres are happy to give us their number, until they find out our appointments are about baptism and not about besitas or something. We've already had one guy ask us 4 times if we'd eaten before the appointment...I think he thought we were going on a dinner date? I don't know.

One thing I've really learned this week is that we truly can TRUST the Lord. Not just trust IN Him but trust Him. He is the one who is able to take away our pains. We just have to trust him wen he says that. We had a lesson last night with our friend in our barrio who is less-active and she is a craycray gato lady and I loved her but we talked about how everyone is at different points on their faith journey. It's okay to need help and struggle because the Lord loves everyone equally. 

Speaking of love, I love you all. Sorry this is literally a harrypotterseries and a half but I know when I'm home and talk about my mission non stop I'm gonna want to read these back through. So if you made it this far holy cow you really love me, and I will send you a valentine i think.

xoxoox hermana barkbark

Flicks are a conglomeration of occurrences including me trying to "steam my nose" as prescribed by the mission doctor as an alternative to antibiotics. yeah I look super awesome don't remind me